Worst. Mommy. Ever.

Yesterday I was preparing to feed Munchikin (not munchkin--he munchies, he, he).  I propped him up on the couch facing me and not against the back of the couch.  I got up to get his bottle and on the way back I heard a loud thud.  As I rounded the corner, the pillow he was propped in was on the floor and so was he!  I go to him and he started to cry and so did I.  Oh my goodness it was the worst feeling ever!  I felt like a horrible mom who just didn't pay attention to what she was doing and let my child hurt himself.

I had to call Matt because I was so upset and afraid I had hurt the baby.  Matt could barely hear me because baby was crying so loud and I was bawling and trying to talk.  He finally understood what I was saying and asked if he should come home.  Yes, please. 

After a good five minutes of break-your-eardrums crying, Colin finally calmed down a bit.  I tried to feed him his bottle, but he started crying again.  I realized it was probably because the formula was too hot.  Great, not only did I let him fall off the couch and hit his head, I also tried to burn his mouth!  I cooled it down by adding another ounce of cold formula and then he started chugging away.  When Matt finally arrived home, Baby Boy was full and calm.  And then he smiled.  He was HAPPY.

Matt called the doctor's office (after I refused because I was so upset) and they said an advice nurse would call back quickly.  Quickly was about 45 minutes later.  She advised that we take him to urgent care to be checked just because of his young age (under 6 months).  This added to my shame as being the worst mom ever.

Urgent care wasn't too urgent as it took about an hour for us to be seen.  Baby Boy fell asleep for the first half hour and then we woke him up by having a thermometer shoved up his butt.  Yeah, still worst mom ever and feeling even more guilty.

The pediatrician proclaimed him perfectly fine after 5 minutes of checking him out.  Baby Boy was still smiling and happy--even while looking at the worst mom ever.  So, home we went.  I cried more and had a hard time sleeping thinking how terrible a mother I was.

This marks the milestone of the first time Colin was dropped.  Matt thanked me for being the first to do it.  I told him I would and I was right.  So, at least I get being right of of it.  Too bad I am the worst. mom. ever.