Matt and I are spending Christmas alone this year. No family because I really couldn't travel and our parents both made other plans. So, I sit here thinking that this is the last time it will just be the two of us for Christmas. Even if we aren't with our parents, we will have Baby with us. Next year at this time Baby will be about 6 months old. I will also be able to call Baby by a name and not just "Baby." I'm hoping that in less than a month we will have an even better idea for a name. Our anatomy scan (aka gender-find-out-day) is scheduled for January 18th. We also have a cervical check on the 3rd, so that might be an ultrasound where we can get a peak.
I've been focusing on boy names just because they are so difficult for me and I had a feeling this was a boy from the beginning. The other night I had a dream Baby is a girl, though, so now I don't know. My dreams tend to be right, so this one might be a girl. Either way I will be happy--I just want to know!
So, Merry Christmas! Here's to the last year as a couple!
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
All Stitched Up
Week 14 started with a pre-op appointment for the cerclage. I was hoping for an ultrasound and a chance to look at Baby again, but no such luck. It was just a discussion with the nurse about the procedure followed by the doctor looking at the outside of my cervix, which really hurt. I haven't been that uncomfortable with an examination since I was about 21. I'm thinking it is because of the increased blood flow in my body. I'm just a little more sensitive right now.
Tuesday brought us surgery day. We had to be at Good Samaritan Hospital at 11am for the 1pm surgery. We weren't sure exactly where to go, so we arrived about 15 minutes early. I got set up in Labor & Delivery with all the fun stuff--the cute gown, the bed, then all the really fun stuff--the IV. Once again, it really stung going in. I hate getting IVs, but usually they don't hurt that much. Before surgery, they take blood to check red and white cell counts and when the lab guy took blood, that hurt, too. He and Matt both said it was very clean, but it still stung. :(
When 1pm finally rolled around, both Matt and I were ready to get it done. They didn't move me over to the OR until about 1:10pm and it seems the doctors weren't ready to go yet. The anesthesiologist was a pro and helped walk me through the spinal. I think of all the parts of the surgery, the spinal scared me the most. I hate needles and after the spinal I had for the cerclage with the twins where the doctor missed about 7 times, I'm not too keen on having it done. Luckily it went easily enough and only took one poke. My butt went numb almost immediately.
In about 15 minutes they had me all stitched up and ready to go back to recovery. I couldn't believe how easy and fast it went. I was so happy it was over, but found out that the worst was yet to come...
Upon arrival back to the L&D room, Matt was smiling and waiting for me. I had told them that I was feeling a bit nauseated, so they wanted to check my blood pressure right away. It had dropped down to about 80/40, so it was no wonder I wasn't feeling well. I had little color in my face and would probably have thrown up if I had anything in my stomach. They kept a close watch on me for about an hour, but soon enough my blood pressure went back up to 102/65, so I had color back in my face. At 3pm they let me order lunch (yay for hospital food!). When it arrived at 4pm, I ate it so fast that I made myself sick to my stomach. It wasn't the best grilled cheese sandwich (Matt makes those), but it was a welcome relief after not having eaten for almost 24 hours.
I was numb from the waist down and had to wait for the feeling to come back. They don't let you leave the hospital before you can empty your bladder, so we had a bit of a wait to go. At 5pm, the nurse tried to help me to the bathroom, but my legs were still like clubs, so it was a no-go (literally). It was getting a little boring for both Matt and I after so many hours. We had a TV in the room, but afternoon TV isn't that great. I wasn't in the mood for reading, so even though I had my Kindle, I didn't use it.
When 6:30pm rolled around the nurse helped me up again. This time it worked! My legs carried me all the way to the bathroom! I don't think I have ever been so grateful to empty my bladder. Then we got to go home!
My legs were a little unsteady the rest of the night, but by the next morning I felt fine. I was still a little tired, but no pain and very little spotting. Just a little pink, but nothing to concern me. I had far worse with the twins early on.
So, my cervix is all stitched up and Baby can't just open the door to get out. How sad that I have baby-proofed my uterus! I'm doing whatever I can to help this little one stay in as long as possible. Matt is making sure I don't do ANYTHING that might hurt the baby, either. Matt gets after me for everything--I'm not allowed to pick much of anything up, which should make me happy because I don't have to do laundry, but I still have to do laundry, just without being able to do it all by myself. Oh, well...in about 6 months I will be so busy that I will be happy to have had a little break.
Tuesday brought us surgery day. We had to be at Good Samaritan Hospital at 11am for the 1pm surgery. We weren't sure exactly where to go, so we arrived about 15 minutes early. I got set up in Labor & Delivery with all the fun stuff--the cute gown, the bed, then all the really fun stuff--the IV. Once again, it really stung going in. I hate getting IVs, but usually they don't hurt that much. Before surgery, they take blood to check red and white cell counts and when the lab guy took blood, that hurt, too. He and Matt both said it was very clean, but it still stung. :(
When 1pm finally rolled around, both Matt and I were ready to get it done. They didn't move me over to the OR until about 1:10pm and it seems the doctors weren't ready to go yet. The anesthesiologist was a pro and helped walk me through the spinal. I think of all the parts of the surgery, the spinal scared me the most. I hate needles and after the spinal I had for the cerclage with the twins where the doctor missed about 7 times, I'm not too keen on having it done. Luckily it went easily enough and only took one poke. My butt went numb almost immediately.
In about 15 minutes they had me all stitched up and ready to go back to recovery. I couldn't believe how easy and fast it went. I was so happy it was over, but found out that the worst was yet to come...
Upon arrival back to the L&D room, Matt was smiling and waiting for me. I had told them that I was feeling a bit nauseated, so they wanted to check my blood pressure right away. It had dropped down to about 80/40, so it was no wonder I wasn't feeling well. I had little color in my face and would probably have thrown up if I had anything in my stomach. They kept a close watch on me for about an hour, but soon enough my blood pressure went back up to 102/65, so I had color back in my face. At 3pm they let me order lunch (yay for hospital food!). When it arrived at 4pm, I ate it so fast that I made myself sick to my stomach. It wasn't the best grilled cheese sandwich (Matt makes those), but it was a welcome relief after not having eaten for almost 24 hours.
I was numb from the waist down and had to wait for the feeling to come back. They don't let you leave the hospital before you can empty your bladder, so we had a bit of a wait to go. At 5pm, the nurse tried to help me to the bathroom, but my legs were still like clubs, so it was a no-go (literally). It was getting a little boring for both Matt and I after so many hours. We had a TV in the room, but afternoon TV isn't that great. I wasn't in the mood for reading, so even though I had my Kindle, I didn't use it.
When 6:30pm rolled around the nurse helped me up again. This time it worked! My legs carried me all the way to the bathroom! I don't think I have ever been so grateful to empty my bladder. Then we got to go home!
My legs were a little unsteady the rest of the night, but by the next morning I felt fine. I was still a little tired, but no pain and very little spotting. Just a little pink, but nothing to concern me. I had far worse with the twins early on.
So, my cervix is all stitched up and Baby can't just open the door to get out. How sad that I have baby-proofed my uterus! I'm doing whatever I can to help this little one stay in as long as possible. Matt is making sure I don't do ANYTHING that might hurt the baby, either. Matt gets after me for everything--I'm not allowed to pick much of anything up, which should make me happy because I don't have to do laundry, but I still have to do laundry, just without being able to do it all by myself. Oh, well...in about 6 months I will be so busy that I will be happy to have had a little break.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
My Favorite Thing
My favorite thing to do every day is listen to Baby's heartbeat. Baby isn't a huge fan of the doppler, but I can usually find him/her fairly quickly and I listen for about 15-30 seconds and then I'm done. I am happy and smiling.
Baby has been moving a lot lately. It is kind of difficult to describe, but most times it feels like a weird vibration low in my belly. Baby moves a lot after I have had dinner or had something sugary to eat or drink. I absolutely love knowing that there is a little person inside of me, but it is also the strangest feeling. I'm sharing my body with another person! How crazy is that?
I'm finally starting to feel like this baby is going to come home. We are going to have another member to our family. I am going to have to get up in the middle of the night to feed the baby. We are going to be inundated with dirty diapers. It is just crazy to think that it could be real. I can barely wait until next summer!
13w5d
Baby has been moving a lot lately. It is kind of difficult to describe, but most times it feels like a weird vibration low in my belly. Baby moves a lot after I have had dinner or had something sugary to eat or drink. I absolutely love knowing that there is a little person inside of me, but it is also the strangest feeling. I'm sharing my body with another person! How crazy is that?
I'm finally starting to feel like this baby is going to come home. We are going to have another member to our family. I am going to have to get up in the middle of the night to feed the baby. We are going to be inundated with dirty diapers. It is just crazy to think that it could be real. I can barely wait until next summer!
13w5d
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
December Prenatal Appointment
Yesterday was the 2nd prenatal appointment for us. We were just at the peri last week and now back to the OB this week. It wasn't much of an appointment, really. I was weighed--the scale showed a 2.5 lb weight gain, but I promise I haven't gained anything. The appointment was a 4pm and my first was was at 9am, so I attribute it to daily weight fluctuation.
Results from yesterday are as follows:
My next appointment is set up for January 12th. I have more doctor's appointments in the next 6 weeks than I care to think about. I'll either be at the peri or with Dr. Wong just about every week. At least I know I am being well cared for. This baby is going to have wonderful care in utero.
Results from yesterday are as follows:
- Urine tested normal - no sugar or protein
- 112/80 blood pressue
- Baby's heartbeat was 150-160
- 2.5 lb weight gain
My next appointment is set up for January 12th. I have more doctor's appointments in the next 6 weeks than I care to think about. I'll either be at the peri or with Dr. Wong just about every week. At least I know I am being well cared for. This baby is going to have wonderful care in utero.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
12 weeks!
I had gotten so nervous before the appointment because I hadn't seen or heard the baby in over a week and it seems that early on I just get more and more nervous hoping everything is okay, but not knowing for sure.
After the tech finished checking out the baby (and taking measurements for the NT scan that we didn't care to have), she went to find the doctor. Dr. Gaffaney came in and proceeded to measure my cervix. She said all looked as it should at 12 weeks, but we still needed to sit down and talk with her to go over my history so we could make a decision moving forward.
After we left the office, I finally felt like things were moving forward and I could relax.
The next day at work I decided to let the news out. I told Shelley and then the whole group at work (with just added Karen & Bill since both Chris & Dolores already knew), so I figured that I needed to tell all the other people I wanted to tell instead of them finding out through the grapevine. Everyone has been so happy for us! It has been wonderful to have such great support from all of our friends.
On top of all that, yesterday I pulled out the doppler again in hopes of being able to find the baby's heartbeat. And I did find it! The doppler registered the nice strong 150-160 bpm heart rate. It jumped around a bit, but it was obvious that I had finally found it! Then again this morning I decided to try again. This time I put the wand down in the right area and immediately heart the whomping of the heart. What a wonderful sound! Our baby is doing so well and I couldn't be happier. I am so looking forward to the next 6 months and then finally getting to meet our little one face to face.
Oh, and in just over a month we will get confirmation of gender! January 18th, 2011 is the day! I am so excited that I can barely wait. I'm hoping that we will have at least one more ultrasound at the perinatologist and we might get a glimpse of the gender a little early. No guarantees just yet, but it would be nice to have a hint. :)
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Couldn't Wait!
Last week I decided to let Nadia in on my secret. I thought for sure she was suspicious, but she acted like she had no idea! Obviously it was all in MY head. :)
Since I told Nadia, I needed to tell Malia since they would be spending the weekend together at work. Malia is out of town, so I had to email her. She emailed back in HUGE font with SQUEE! She is very excited. Nadia texted me the next day saying how glad she was that I told Malia since she was about to pop with the news. Since I like being the one letting it out, I knew I needed to tell Malia before Nadia spilled it accidentally. :)
I know I should tell Shelley soon, but she will tell everyone, so I am not telling her until after my peri appointment on Tuesday! After that I will feel a lot better. We are getting another ultrasound, so Baby gets another picture!
Since I told Nadia, I needed to tell Malia since they would be spending the weekend together at work. Malia is out of town, so I had to email her. She emailed back in HUGE font with SQUEE! She is very excited. Nadia texted me the next day saying how glad she was that I told Malia since she was about to pop with the news. Since I like being the one letting it out, I knew I needed to tell Malia before Nadia spilled it accidentally. :)
I know I should tell Shelley soon, but she will tell everyone, so I am not telling her until after my peri appointment on Tuesday! After that I will feel a lot better. We are getting another ultrasound, so Baby gets another picture!
Monday, November 29, 2010
Spilling the Beans
So, word is getting out. We decided that Thanksgiving would be the perfect time to tell the Boroughf family since we would all be together. So, at dinner Matt said he was thankful for the whole family including any future Boroughfs on the way. It went over most people's heads and I had to clarify that I was thankful to be eating for two. It took a while to sink in, but then everyone started to get excited about the baby. Matt's mom even bought some yarn on Friday to knit/crochet a baby blanket. I did get to pick the yarn. :) I went for the very neutral green. It is also a very pretty color, so I know it will look nice.
I'm about ready to start telling friends, too. I'm waiting for my first high risk appointment and to get my cerclage all settled first, though. They should be calling in the next couple of days, but so far I am just waiting by the phone (not literally, but I do check it every time it rings hoping it is the office). Hopefully they will call to schedule an appointment soon. I like things planned out and this is driving me crazy!
Also, I think I am beginning to feel Baby. I know it is early, but I feel lots of flutters and even some twitches. I'm pretty sure it is Baby and not just gas. :) I also think I found Baby on the doppler. Baby is on the right side is moves around a lot. I leave the wand in one location and the heartbeat gets loud and then soft, loud and then soft. Kinda cool. I can't wait until Baby is a little bigger and I can catch him/her all the time. :)
I'm about ready to start telling friends, too. I'm waiting for my first high risk appointment and to get my cerclage all settled first, though. They should be calling in the next couple of days, but so far I am just waiting by the phone (not literally, but I do check it every time it rings hoping it is the office). Hopefully they will call to schedule an appointment soon. I like things planned out and this is driving me crazy!
Also, I think I am beginning to feel Baby. I know it is early, but I feel lots of flutters and even some twitches. I'm pretty sure it is Baby and not just gas. :) I also think I found Baby on the doppler. Baby is on the right side is moves around a lot. I leave the wand in one location and the heartbeat gets loud and then soft, loud and then soft. Kinda cool. I can't wait until Baby is a little bigger and I can catch him/her all the time. :)
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Week 9
Week 9 has been an exciting week. It started on Sunday when I called my mom a day early for her birthday. Her birthday gift from me was finding out that she has the chance to be a grandmother again. She was VERY calmly happy. She just said that she has something to pray for now. She also said that she wasn't going to tell my dad just yet. She didn't want to upset him if something happens again. I found it a bit cute and a bit funny. So, my mom was the first family member to know about Baby.
After a few days of getting more and more nervous and also getting horrible diarrhea, we finally had our first OB appointment with Dr. Wong on Thursday morning. It is always nice to see her again because she has been with us for so much. She has been my doctor almost since I moved here (I saw a different doctor the first year, but have been with Dr. Wong since 2001). She delivered Claire and was the one who told us we would have to deliver Matthew as well. She prayed with us after the babies died and always gives us hugs.
She went through some of the basics with us and them went straight to the ultrasound. Baby popped up on the screen immediately. It was like a weight lifted off my shoulders and I felt so happy to see the little one. We even got to hear the heartbeat while it showed on the screen. I was so overwhelmed that I wanted to cry. She said the heart rate was right about 160bpm, so nice and strong.
She measured Baby who was measuring about a day ahead giving a due date of 6/19, which is Claire's birthday. Dr. Wong is still sticking with the original date of 6/20/11, so that is fine, but it is nice to know that our little angel Claire is looking after her little brother or sister.
Then, on Friday morning I tried out the home doppler again and am pretty sure I caught the baby on it again. I have really only been able to get it to read my heart beat, but I heard a faster beat and as I kept the wand in one location, there was a heartbeat followed by a whoosh and it was gone. I am thinking Baby doesn't like the doppler just like his/her brother, Matthew, didn't like it. They certainly are related!
Friday ended with my stomach feeling better, but my head not doing great. I believe another migraine has set in. I took some vicodin to help out, but I just ended up puking it up this morning. So, hopefully it will go away soon. So far I have had 3 migraines--at 3w4d, 7w4d, and 9w4d. Interesting pattern, huh?
What a happy and wonderful week! We are looking forward to many more good weeks. Next week is Thanksgiving and the Boroughf family is going to get the news of the Baby Boroughf on the way!
She went through some of the basics with us and them went straight to the ultrasound. Baby popped up on the screen immediately. It was like a weight lifted off my shoulders and I felt so happy to see the little one. We even got to hear the heartbeat while it showed on the screen. I was so overwhelmed that I wanted to cry. She said the heart rate was right about 160bpm, so nice and strong.
Then, on Friday morning I tried out the home doppler again and am pretty sure I caught the baby on it again. I have really only been able to get it to read my heart beat, but I heard a faster beat and as I kept the wand in one location, there was a heartbeat followed by a whoosh and it was gone. I am thinking Baby doesn't like the doppler just like his/her brother, Matthew, didn't like it. They certainly are related!
Friday ended with my stomach feeling better, but my head not doing great. I believe another migraine has set in. I took some vicodin to help out, but I just ended up puking it up this morning. So, hopefully it will go away soon. So far I have had 3 migraines--at 3w4d, 7w4d, and 9w4d. Interesting pattern, huh?
What a happy and wonderful week! We are looking forward to many more good weeks. Next week is Thanksgiving and the Boroughf family is going to get the news of the Baby Boroughf on the way!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Baby's 2nd Photo!
After a seemingly long two weeks, we finally got to see Baby for the 2nd time. This time Baby wasn't just a grain of rice, but is now a blob. You can kind of see the head and body, but it is pretty blurry. Baby's heart was blipping away at 140 bpm. It was quite reassuring to see the little one there on the screen. I still haven't been able to register Baby on the home doppler, but I don't expect to be able to for another week or more.
I'm finally starting to feel like this is real. I even ordered more maternity clothes at OldNavy.com this morning. I really need some pants that fit! I just feel fat right now and can't wait until I feel pregnant and not fat! :)
Update: Tonight I decided to try and find the baby on the doppler again. I'm pretty sure I found Baby! I heard plenty of whooshing noises and the monitor registered a 145-146 with a solid heart for about a second! I'm so excited! It was about 3 inches below my bellybutton, so exactly where Baby would be! Yay! Now I think I will wait another few days and try again when Baby is even bigger. :)
Exciting things are happening!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Pregnancy Migraine
When I was pregnant with the twins, my morning sickness was really just migraines every few days. I couldn't keep anything down and spent most of the day puking. It started before I even got a positive test and continued all the way through the first trimester.
This time I have only had one really bad migraine and that was right before the positive pregnancy test. I spent 2 days throwing everything up, but since then, I've just been queasy. That is, until today. I started to get a migraine yesterday and it continued into today. I tried Tylenol PM last night, but woke up at 3am and still had the headache. So, I took some vicodin. It worked until about 9am when the headache came back. I went to work just to get my timecard completed and then returned home. I took more vicodin and said a prayer for no vomiting, but no such luck. Within 30 minutes everything I ate or drank this morning was being flushed. I drank A LOT of apple juice, so there it was very acidic. NOT a good thing. Now my throat is burning and all I want to do is sleep. So, back to the couch I go to cuddle with the pug.
This time I have only had one really bad migraine and that was right before the positive pregnancy test. I spent 2 days throwing everything up, but since then, I've just been queasy. That is, until today. I started to get a migraine yesterday and it continued into today. I tried Tylenol PM last night, but woke up at 3am and still had the headache. So, I took some vicodin. It worked until about 9am when the headache came back. I went to work just to get my timecard completed and then returned home. I took more vicodin and said a prayer for no vomiting, but no such luck. Within 30 minutes everything I ate or drank this morning was being flushed. I drank A LOT of apple juice, so there it was very acidic. NOT a good thing. Now my throat is burning and all I want to do is sleep. So, back to the couch I go to cuddle with the pug.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
5 days to go!
I've been counting down the days until the next time we get to see Baby. I know there are 5 days left. Tonight when Matt called out, "Only 5 more days!" I was actually a little shocked. I called back to him, "When did you get so excited about it?" He had been walking out to get the dog and when he came back he seemed a little guilty and asked me if "that" was also in 5 days. To which I asked him what 5 days until he was talking about...the release of the latest Call of Duty video game! Ah! Men!
In addition to Matt's excitement (he is excited, but he didn't realize the date was the same as COD), I also have been having headaches the last few days. Today's is pretty close to a migraine. My nausea is to the more extreme and the headache is typical of my migraines. I've tried eating, but I still have the headache. So, tonight I will try Tylenol PM and hope it works. Otherwise I am going to be stuck with vicodin tomorrow. Not something I *want* to take, but if it will work, I'll take it.
I've also started to let myself get more excited about the baby. I dug the Doppler out of the "baby box" and even tried it out today. I know it is early, but I was hoping...no such luck just yet. I'll try again in a week.
7w3d
In addition to Matt's excitement (he is excited, but he didn't realize the date was the same as COD), I also have been having headaches the last few days. Today's is pretty close to a migraine. My nausea is to the more extreme and the headache is typical of my migraines. I've tried eating, but I still have the headache. So, tonight I will try Tylenol PM and hope it works. Otherwise I am going to be stuck with vicodin tomorrow. Not something I *want* to take, but if it will work, I'll take it.
I've also started to let myself get more excited about the baby. I dug the Doppler out of the "baby box" and even tried it out today. I know it is early, but I was hoping...no such luck just yet. I'll try again in a week.
7w3d
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Suspicious?
Matt and I decided to wait a little while to tell people about the baby. Last time family and friends knew when I was only about 4-5 weeks along. Since the twins' pregnancy was such an emotional event for so many people, we decided that this time we would wait a little while to tell people so that we could avoid some of the high emotions at the beginning.
Of course, I'm not good at keeping secrets, so I have spilled the beans to a few people. Let's see...my counselor (for obvious reasons), my trainer (again for obvious reasons), Dolores (she asked too many questions and I blabbed), Chiara (was nervous and wanted to tell someone), and Drew (he lost a baby right after we lost the twins, so I thought he would understand). I don't want to tell anyone else, but I think some people are getting suspicious.
Nadia has asked a few leading questions lately...like have I been to the gym lately? Have I been watching what I eat? Why am I so possessive of my French fries? hmm...I wonder if she thinks that something is up. My gut is getting round (yes, this early), but I just look a little heavier right now. I'm not sure she would actually notice that it is a baby belly.
I think we are going to tell people in a couple of weeks, but I just am not sure how to say it. Before it seemed easy. I was excited and I just told people. Now I am a little nervous to say it. People are going to be happy for us, but I am afraid they might be worried, too. I am trying to keep this pregnancy negative-vibe-free, so the less people that know for a while the better.
Now if I could only learn to keep my fat mouth shut.
Of course, I'm not good at keeping secrets, so I have spilled the beans to a few people. Let's see...my counselor (for obvious reasons), my trainer (again for obvious reasons), Dolores (she asked too many questions and I blabbed), Chiara (was nervous and wanted to tell someone), and Drew (he lost a baby right after we lost the twins, so I thought he would understand). I don't want to tell anyone else, but I think some people are getting suspicious.
Nadia has asked a few leading questions lately...like have I been to the gym lately? Have I been watching what I eat? Why am I so possessive of my French fries? hmm...I wonder if she thinks that something is up. My gut is getting round (yes, this early), but I just look a little heavier right now. I'm not sure she would actually notice that it is a baby belly.
I think we are going to tell people in a couple of weeks, but I just am not sure how to say it. Before it seemed easy. I was excited and I just told people. Now I am a little nervous to say it. People are going to be happy for us, but I am afraid they might be worried, too. I am trying to keep this pregnancy negative-vibe-free, so the less people that know for a while the better.
Now if I could only learn to keep my fat mouth shut.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Baby's First Picture!
Now we get to wait another 2 weeks until we get to see Baby again.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Paranoia Beta
Yesterday afternoon I started to go crazy and wondering if everything was going okay in utero. The wait to see the baby is so difficult. I called Tonna and asked for another beta just to make me feel better. She understood and said it was fine for me to come in for another blood test the next day.
Ellie called at about 12:30 and said it looked great--10,514. She also asked why I came in--she had no notes of spotting or pain or anything. I told her I was just being paranoid. She told me everything would be fine and she would says prayers for us. So glad that I go to a clinic with such great people.
5w5d
Ellie called at about 12:30 and said it looked great--10,514. She also asked why I came in--she had no notes of spotting or pain or anything. I told her I was just being paranoid. She told me everything would be fine and she would says prayers for us. So glad that I go to a clinic with such great people.
5w5d
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Vivid Dreams
Really, the bad dreams need to stop. I would also like to sleep through the night. I'll live with the sleeping if only the dreams would be happy dreams instead.
Last night (this morning) I dreamed I was on a plane with some bratty kids and I was the one watching them for their parents. My high school friends Guy & Erika were also there. At the end of the flight it was like we had all just taken a vacation and had to pack up to leave. I couldn't get everything in my bags and had to leave behind my good China. Yes, all my dishes were somehow on the plane. I think we were in Vegas and I just kept wandering around looking for something, but I don't know what. I ran into my family (Dad) and then met up with the rest of the family. Turns out my sister-in-law wanted to take a pregnancy test in front of the whole family to see if she was pregnant. I started to flip out on the inside thinking her and my brother were nuts to tell the family that way. When the test came up positive, I was really upset. I had wanted to tell my family first, but felt she ruined it for me. I didn't want to tell the family then because I didn't want to spoil her news. Somehow I got really upset and started yelling at my brother for not talking to me about them trying and her being pregnant, etc. I proceeded to tell them all I was pregnant, too. My mom started to cry because she wants grandkids and was finally getting some. That is about the point where I woke up and was pretty upset about the dream.
I'm worried about telling people because I don't want bad vibes from people. I don't want them to worry too much (like my mom or Chris at work) and I don't want them to wish ill will on us (like I feel Xue would because I know she was mad I got married first and probably wanted kids first). I also really want to tell people because I want support. I feel like it is a catch-22 and I am damned if I do and damned if I don't. Maybe I should just wait until the baby is here and keep telling people I am just getting fat. Okay, so maybe that won't work.
5w3d
Last night (this morning) I dreamed I was on a plane with some bratty kids and I was the one watching them for their parents. My high school friends Guy & Erika were also there. At the end of the flight it was like we had all just taken a vacation and had to pack up to leave. I couldn't get everything in my bags and had to leave behind my good China. Yes, all my dishes were somehow on the plane. I think we were in Vegas and I just kept wandering around looking for something, but I don't know what. I ran into my family (Dad) and then met up with the rest of the family. Turns out my sister-in-law wanted to take a pregnancy test in front of the whole family to see if she was pregnant. I started to flip out on the inside thinking her and my brother were nuts to tell the family that way. When the test came up positive, I was really upset. I had wanted to tell my family first, but felt she ruined it for me. I didn't want to tell the family then because I didn't want to spoil her news. Somehow I got really upset and started yelling at my brother for not talking to me about them trying and her being pregnant, etc. I proceeded to tell them all I was pregnant, too. My mom started to cry because she wants grandkids and was finally getting some. That is about the point where I woke up and was pretty upset about the dream.
I'm worried about telling people because I don't want bad vibes from people. I don't want them to worry too much (like my mom or Chris at work) and I don't want them to wish ill will on us (like I feel Xue would because I know she was mad I got married first and probably wanted kids first). I also really want to tell people because I want support. I feel like it is a catch-22 and I am damned if I do and damned if I don't. Maybe I should just wait until the baby is here and keep telling people I am just getting fat. Okay, so maybe that won't work.
5w3d
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Flu Shot
Today I got my flu shot. My first one EVER! I would not have gotten it if I were not pregnant, so I count this as my first good deed for the baby. It was actually strange for me to tell the nurse that I am pregnant. I realized that it just doesn't feel real. I feel like I am just saying it. I'm hoping that after the ultrasound next week things will feel more real. I won't just be "pretending" to be pregnant!
5w2d
5w2d
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Second Beta
After having bad dreams last night about today's beta coming back lower than Monday's, everything worked out just fine. Tonna called at 11:20am to tell me my numbers increased to 363. Perfect doubling time! I was so happy. Tonna said that Dr. Nelson was very happy with the numbers, too.
My first ultrasound is all set up for the 26th, so hopefully we will see one healthy baby with a good heartbeat.
I decided that I would go ahead and make a prenatal appointment with Dr. Wong just to be prepared instead of waiting until after the ultrasound. I'm glad that I did because her first available appointment is set for November 18th. I'll be almost 10 weeks, which is the same time that I went with the twins and I called 2 weeks later. I'm afraid I wouldn't have been able to go until 12 or 13 weeks if I waited. I want to have plenty of time to get a referral to the peri to schedule a cerclage. Once the cerclage is in I will feel so much more comfortable.
So, everything is looking positive so far. I'm happy and finally beginning to let it sink in that I am pregnant again!
4w2d
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Sinking in?
Now that we have a positive beta with awesome numbers, I am accepting that I am pregnant. I wish that I could run around and tell everyone, but I'm just not ready for that. What if something happens? I have another beta tomorrow and I am hoping for more good news. I just keep having all these fears of something bad happening each step of the way. How do I stop feeling so down about everything?
Yesterday Matt and I were talking about when to tell people. I have no idea. Some people tell before they are even 4 weeks along! No doctor's confirmation, no ultrasound, and they are comfortable telling people. That so isn't me. I think I at least need to see the baby before I feel comfortable telling people.
Yesterday my belly felt so full I thought it would explode. I'm not sure what is going on, but it is making me nervous. I woke up in the middle of the night and stretched only to feel it really pull in my abdomen. I wonder if it is normal? I'll probably ask the doctor about it tomorrow after the second beta. Maybe I am just a little "backed up" and gassy. Who knows? I am just going to keep drinking lots of fluid.
6:00pm
So, today went well. I think I was just a little constipated. Nothing a stool softener couldn't fix. I'm still bloated and tired, but my belly is quite a bit better.
I also broke down and told 2 people today. One was Susan. She is in Sacramento and a good friend, so I know that I can rely on her to keep the secret and also be a good sounding board. She is also a good pray-er, so that makes me feel good, too. :)
The other person I told is Dolores, my co-worker. She started talking about why I was puking at work and blaming it on the building and everything. I then couldn't keep it back from her. She started crying because she is so happy for us. I'm glad I have someone understanding at work who knows. :)
Now I just want to sleep for a while and not eat much of anything. I have very little appetite.
Tomorrow is beta #2, so we will see how well this is progressing. I will feel much better when I know the numbers are doubling like they should be.
4w1d
Yesterday Matt and I were talking about when to tell people. I have no idea. Some people tell before they are even 4 weeks along! No doctor's confirmation, no ultrasound, and they are comfortable telling people. That so isn't me. I think I at least need to see the baby before I feel comfortable telling people.
Yesterday my belly felt so full I thought it would explode. I'm not sure what is going on, but it is making me nervous. I woke up in the middle of the night and stretched only to feel it really pull in my abdomen. I wonder if it is normal? I'll probably ask the doctor about it tomorrow after the second beta. Maybe I am just a little "backed up" and gassy. Who knows? I am just going to keep drinking lots of fluid.
6:00pm
So, today went well. I think I was just a little constipated. Nothing a stool softener couldn't fix. I'm still bloated and tired, but my belly is quite a bit better.
I also broke down and told 2 people today. One was Susan. She is in Sacramento and a good friend, so I know that I can rely on her to keep the secret and also be a good sounding board. She is also a good pray-er, so that makes me feel good, too. :)
The other person I told is Dolores, my co-worker. She started talking about why I was puking at work and blaming it on the building and everything. I then couldn't keep it back from her. She started crying because she is so happy for us. I'm glad I have someone understanding at work who knows. :)
Now I just want to sleep for a while and not eat much of anything. I have very little appetite.
Tomorrow is beta #2, so we will see how well this is progressing. I will feel much better when I know the numbers are doubling like they should be.
4w1d
Monday, October 11, 2010
First Beta
I took another pregnancy test this morning just to see two lines instead of just the words. I can save this test and keep looking at it for a while to remind me that I really am pregnant. I love to see it!
My test results came back at 163! What a great number! Tonna was so happy for us. I'm sure that most of the people in the FPNC office are happy for us. :)
Friday, October 8, 2010
Positive!!!
It has been a week since the transfer, so I figured it is time to take a pregnancy test. I can get prepared for the beta results next Monday.
I woke up early, as usual, went to the bathroom and did what I needed to do. It was one of those digital tests, so it has a little symbol telling you it is thinking. I washed my hands and picked it up to take it into the bedroom to wait with Matt. As I opened the bedroom door, "Pregnant" popped up on the display screen. All I could say to Matt was, "It says Pregnant!" I ran over to show him and gave him a big hug!
Since I have to write a review on the pregnancy tests (I received them free through the Amazon Vine program, so I need to review them), I decided to check out how many other people had written reviews. Much to my chagrin, the spotlight review was how these tests have false positives! Crap. So, I did a little more searching on the web and found this to be a problem for these tests. I'm not sure if it is for the older ones (they used to make you insert each stick into the cartridge and remove it when done, but now they are all one piece) or the newer ones.
It does seem that I am having quite a bit of morning sickness, though. I've had a migraine for 2 days and can't seem to keep anything down. How fun is that? I've become well acquainted with the toilet...again.
I'm praying that this one is real and that in 8 months we will have a baby in our home.
Since I have to write a review on the pregnancy tests (I received them free through the Amazon Vine program, so I need to review them), I decided to check out how many other people had written reviews. Much to my chagrin, the spotlight review was how these tests have false positives! Crap. So, I did a little more searching on the web and found this to be a problem for these tests. I'm not sure if it is for the older ones (they used to make you insert each stick into the cartridge and remove it when done, but now they are all one piece) or the newer ones.
It does seem that I am having quite a bit of morning sickness, though. I've had a migraine for 2 days and can't seem to keep anything down. How fun is that? I've become well acquainted with the toilet...again.
I'm praying that this one is real and that in 8 months we will have a baby in our home.
Friday morning...Pregnant. Saturday morning...Pregnant. Sunday morning...Pregnant. Love seeing those words on the tests! Guess I didn't get any false positives! These tests are getting a very good review. :)
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Embryo Transfer
The eggs did awesome! Thirteen of the nineteen fertilized and they all made it to day 3! So exciting!
Today we put back two healthy 8-cell grade-A embryos. I try not to look at them before the transfer because I don't want to get attached, but I did it anyway. Both Matt and I got to see 2 perfect little embryos ready to go back inside me. Now we get to wait a few days to find out if one or both of them will take.
I'm doing fabulous. No spotting, not a lot of pain, getting plenty of rest. I'm doing a Harry Potter marathon, but sleeping through a lot of it!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
IVF #3
It is time to try IVF again--for the 3rd time. We've been through so much, but giving up just doesn't seem to be part of the Boroughf vocabulary.
In the last 3 years we have done 5 FETs (Frozen Embryo Transfers) and a 2nd IVF. All failed to produce anything. We walked away a lot poorer with a lot more heartache. We are stronger people, though. We are more determined to try more to have our family.
I have been so stressed at worked, that I decided I needed to take a month off to take care of myself. It was approved as medical leave, so I still got paid, but I had to visit my primary care doctor a lot and start seeing a counselor. Jill has been a great addition to my life and has helped me to start focusing on what I can do to deal with the anxiety.
In the last 3 years we have done 5 FETs (Frozen Embryo Transfers) and a 2nd IVF. All failed to produce anything. We walked away a lot poorer with a lot more heartache. We are stronger people, though. We are more determined to try more to have our family.
I have been so stressed at worked, that I decided I needed to take a month off to take care of myself. It was approved as medical leave, so I still got paid, but I had to visit my primary care doctor a lot and start seeing a counselor. Jill has been a great addition to my life and has helped me to start focusing on what I can do to deal with the anxiety.
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