Worst. Mommy. Ever.

Yesterday I was preparing to feed Munchikin (not munchkin--he munchies, he, he).  I propped him up on the couch facing me and not against the back of the couch.  I got up to get his bottle and on the way back I heard a loud thud.  As I rounded the corner, the pillow he was propped in was on the floor and so was he!  I go to him and he started to cry and so did I.  Oh my goodness it was the worst feeling ever!  I felt like a horrible mom who just didn't pay attention to what she was doing and let my child hurt himself.

I had to call Matt because I was so upset and afraid I had hurt the baby.  Matt could barely hear me because baby was crying so loud and I was bawling and trying to talk.  He finally understood what I was saying and asked if he should come home.  Yes, please. 

After a good five minutes of break-your-eardrums crying, Colin finally calmed down a bit.  I tried to feed him his bottle, but he started crying again.  I realized it was probably because the formula was too hot.  Great, not only did I let him fall off the couch and hit his head, I also tried to burn his mouth!  I cooled it down by adding another ounce of cold formula and then he started chugging away.  When Matt finally arrived home, Baby Boy was full and calm.  And then he smiled.  He was HAPPY.

Matt called the doctor's office (after I refused because I was so upset) and they said an advice nurse would call back quickly.  Quickly was about 45 minutes later.  She advised that we take him to urgent care to be checked just because of his young age (under 6 months).  This added to my shame as being the worst mom ever.

Urgent care wasn't too urgent as it took about an hour for us to be seen.  Baby Boy fell asleep for the first half hour and then we woke him up by having a thermometer shoved up his butt.  Yeah, still worst mom ever and feeling even more guilty.

The pediatrician proclaimed him perfectly fine after 5 minutes of checking him out.  Baby Boy was still smiling and happy--even while looking at the worst mom ever.  So, home we went.  I cried more and had a hard time sleeping thinking how terrible a mother I was.

This marks the milestone of the first time Colin was dropped.  Matt thanked me for being the first to do it.  I told him I would and I was right.  So, at least I get being right of of it.  Too bad I am the worst. mom. ever.

3 Month Photos

For his 3 Month Photos, Colin invited his friend Cayden to go along (okay, so I did it, but humor me). They each wore their respective hockey team colors and looked adorable!

Rolling Over

I've been a bit nervous about Colin not rolling over at all.  It seems that a lot of other babies the same age have started going one way or the other.  Colin just hasn't been there.  I keep wondering if he is developing properly or am I doing something bad?  Did I not eat right while pregnant?  Have I not stimulated him enough?  Have I stimulated him too much?

Finally my fears have subsided a bit.  He rolled over from tummy to back!  He did it yesterday afternoon and then again this morning.  I wondered if it might have been a fluke, but when I found him this morning on his back after putting him on his tummy I knew it was all him!  I'm so excited!  He won't do it when I want him to so I can get it on video, but he does do it!

My Little Talker

For about the last week or so Colin has started cooing all the time.  He says ooo and ah all the time.  It is so cute!  He smiles more and really responds to people.  He really does look like he is talking to people.  He is a ticklish little guy and bounces his legs up when I tickle his belly.  He doesn't laugh much yet, but every so often he will let one out.   I love it!

I love mornings now.  He sleeps through the night (goes to bed between 9 and 10) and wakes up around 6 or 7.  When I go to his crib, he looks up at me, pauses, and then smiles.  It is so sweet!  It is like he is thinking, "Hey, it's Mommy!"  I love it.  I feel so special when he does it.  Then, he starts to cry if I don't get him out of the crib and feed him right away.  As soon as the bottle is in his mouth, though, he is once again a happy baby.

He is also getting into a bit of a routine.  He sleeps through the night, eats, plays for a bit, takes a half hour nap, wakes, eats again, plays for a couple hours, takes another short nap, wakes, and eats again.  The rest of the day varies a bit, but we are working our way into a schedule.  I love how much he is adapting and changing with each day.

I love being a mommy!

Time to Let Go

I've been struggling letting go of breastfeeding for a while.  I can't really feed him much, but I like the bonding and also knowing that I am giving a little bit of the "good stuff."  The pumping was getting to me.  I was also frustrated feeding him and knowing it frustrated him because he didn't get much.  I want him to be happy and healthy.  So, I think today was the final day for me.  I am done pumping and trying to squeeze milk out of my empty breasts.  There just isn't much in there.  I would rather spend my time with my baby than ignoring him while I pump.

So, today I am letting go.  I cried a bit the other day when I realized it was time, but I am moving on.  He is healthy and doing just fine on formula.  He isn't going to be stunted because of my inability to produce milk.  I did the best I could for him and he will continue to get the best from me...just using exclusively formula.

2 month Appointment

Vitals
Height	2' .5"(0.622 m)
Weight	13 lb 7.5 oz(6.109 kg)
Head Circumference	39.8cm

Immunization History as of 8/11/2011

	DTAP/HIB/IPV	8/11/2011
	Hep B	8/11/2011, 6/10/2011
	PNEUMOCOCCAL PREVNAR13 (PCV13)	8/11/2011
	Rotavirus	8/11/2011

Colin has grown so much in the last 6 weeks!  It is amazing to see how much he has grown.  I look at pictures from when he first came home and realize how little a guy he was back then.  He is still a little guy, but growing fast!

While we were gone on our RV trip last week and the week before, he started so many new things.  He now coos a lot and talks to you.  He makes little laughing like noises that are so cute!  Lots of Ooos, Ahs, and Ohs.  He smiles lots more and is awake a lot more in the day.  Matt loves to just sit and make noises with him.  It seems like it just started overnight.

He has now outgrown his 0-3 month sleepers because he is too long for them.  His poor little legs get scrunched up in them.  So, when we arrived home on Tuesday, I had to wash up a bunch of the 3-6 month ones for him to wear to bed.  He has lots more room for his legs to stretch out!

I was nervous about his appointment today because I knew that today was the day for his first vaccinations.  I was not looking forward to him getting his shots.  Matt wasn't sure he would be able to make it, so that would leave it all up to me.  Thank goodness that Matt was able to go with us and he held Colin during the shots while I turned away and cried.  Yes, my eyes teared up.  I cannot stand for my baby to cry out in pain.  I know it is good for him to have the shots, but I wish there were some way to make it painless.  If they all could be oral vaccinations...he ate that one up like it was candy. 

Colin was a trooper and made it through the shots without too much crying.  He calmed down after Matt and I soothed him a little and gave him his pacifier.  The rest of the day he did lots of sleeping, which is unusual for him.  He took about 3 naps longer than an hour each.  I even got a nice long nap during one of them.  I had to wake him to eat in the afternoon because I knew that he would be screaming to eat at some point if I didn't.  He ate almost his full big bottle (full is 6 oz and he got about 5.5 oz), so I knew he was doing fine, just a little sleepy.

So, we both made it through his first set of shots.  Now we get a 2 month break and then we go back to do it all over again.  My sweet little boy...I'm doing this for his own good and wouldn't if I didn't think it was best for him.

2 Month Photos

Colin did great for his 2-Month photo shoot.  He isn't a big smiler yet, but he did give some cute looks.  He still does one that looks like he is scared, but it is still cute.